*yaAAAaaaaWWn* sigh... i am majorly stoned.. like so brain dysfunctional right now... (now now, i know there are ppl who would dispute that that is my perpetual state of mind)

but that aside, it has been along time since i have said much of anything at all.. haha.. yes.. i do believe my baby will thoroughly agree with that.. i believe he has commented that there has been nothing new on my blog? sigh.. oh well.... i guess that is rightly observed.. afterall, in content, nothing is particularly exciting or newsworthy..

BUT NOW!!!!! now you will get something remotely new.. haha.... yes. yes! FINALLY, i will be done with work and i can finally get more rest and pay more attention to my school work which i have to say is way more interesting than that silly job.. sigh.. it's so tiring too.. not enough sleep, no energy to have much fun.. haven't seen my favourite shows in so darn long, haven't even touched the tv remote in like weeks?!

i refuse to pay for money with my life. yes, there is no mistake in that last sentence. and yes, i still have my priorities.. i will not lose them.. i just got a little side-tracked. and the pay has been sad. it has been some help but it has been sad.. pathetic. pittance. and for the work, sometimes, it's absolutely not worth it.. besides, if because of work, i slave my being away, and have to deal with the side-effects of not being able to be me, to be free, to be able to do what i want to do, then now, this job has gone past the period where it has served its purpose.. it is now more hindrance than help and that is a sure sign that it is time to quit.

me? i am freedom, i am feeling, i am life. it is what makes me. it is these that define my existence. and if my job, which i had asked God for, has begun to deprive me and eat away at me, then it is no more meant to be mine. it is no more the right path to go down. and i am glad i can still see that.. i have not lost my essence. and for that, i am extremely grateful. to god. to shawn. to min. to char. and all the rest of course. and ultimately, to god again. for it is He who has placed these people in my life, and who has placed this heart in me. this heart that feels insanely and hurts so easily and the will to refuse to have this essence of my being be anything else. and so, my perspectives and priorities begin to return to their rightful places and i begin on my return to the road that is mine, and the path that i must tread. finally i return to what is right..