and my dear dawn. what in the world is that about being a rickshaw that irons clothes and keeps food warm and that runs on a single hamster?! ahhaa.. *hug* that might actually apply tho.. if dear shawn was the afforementioned hamster.. ahah.. ;p

*yaAAAaaaaWWn* sigh... i am majorly stoned.. like so brain dysfunctional right now... (now now, i know there are ppl who would dispute that that is my perpetual state of mind)

but that aside, it has been along time since i have said much of anything at all.. haha.. yes.. i do believe my baby will thoroughly agree with that.. i believe he has commented that there has been nothing new on my blog? sigh.. oh well.... i guess that is rightly observed.. afterall, in content, nothing is particularly exciting or newsworthy..

BUT NOW!!!!! now you will get something remotely new.. haha.... yes. yes! FINALLY, i will be done with work and i can finally get more rest and pay more attention to my school work which i have to say is way more interesting than that silly job.. sigh.. it's so tiring too.. not enough sleep, no energy to have much fun.. haven't seen my favourite shows in so darn long, haven't even touched the tv remote in like weeks?!

i refuse to pay for money with my life. yes, there is no mistake in that last sentence. and yes, i still have my priorities.. i will not lose them.. i just got a little side-tracked. and the pay has been sad. it has been some help but it has been sad.. pathetic. pittance. and for the work, sometimes, it's absolutely not worth it.. besides, if because of work, i slave my being away, and have to deal with the side-effects of not being able to be me, to be free, to be able to do what i want to do, then now, this job has gone past the period where it has served its purpose.. it is now more hindrance than help and that is a sure sign that it is time to quit.

me? i am freedom, i am feeling, i am life. it is what makes me. it is these that define my existence. and if my job, which i had asked God for, has begun to deprive me and eat away at me, then it is no more meant to be mine. it is no more the right path to go down. and i am glad i can still see that.. i have not lost my essence. and for that, i am extremely grateful. to god. to shawn. to min. to char. and all the rest of course. and ultimately, to god again. for it is He who has placed these people in my life, and who has placed this heart in me. this heart that feels insanely and hurts so easily and the will to refuse to have this essence of my being be anything else. and so, my perspectives and priorities begin to return to their rightful places and i begin on my return to the road that is mine, and the path that i must tread. finally i return to what is right..

wow.. i have been so deprived...... i haven't been online for like ages!!!! argh!! so insanely annoying.. i never get time to do nothing even if i do manage to get online.. *annoyance*

anyway, here ends another week of school and what a pain work (work. not school work) is, especially since those higher management idiots decided to move the managers around.. transfer them and shite.. and i really don't much like the new ones.. one i haven't even met, will tonight and i hate her already.. (yes, there is a long story behind that.. ) and the other one.. is like... umm.. i don't think we get a long that good either.. it's not comfortable.. you know? like a bit of a forced comfort.. and it seems kinda hypocritical..

yea.. anyway.. i sure hope i don't see that other person again.. like yeesh. i am so dreading tonight.... yea.. so toodles..

"...dreams are for people with nothing better to do..."

"...maybe i should just go get a life. maybe i'm just too damned pathetic. maybe it's just childish and unrealistic to be so hung up on such senseless things. maybe i was born to die..."

"...the death of dreams. the death of hopes. the death of faith. the death of good. the death of innocence. the death of love, honour and truth..."

"...the world has no time for such childish dreams. grow up and be practical! your fairy-tales will never get you anywhere in life..."

"...all you'll have to show is a corpse, and with no one to mourn over it..."

argh.. this is the first time i've logged in since they moved the site.. and it's all weird... somehow i think i preferred the older version.. it's so weird now...

well.. so anyway, school starts tomorrow!!!!! whoa.. like it's been so long since i typed anythig.. and now i have school already?! it's so disorienting.. so forgive me if i keep saying everything is majorly weird!!! and it is july! whoa... yea... i feel quite retarded.. but i can be forgiven because i have not fully awakened yet.. and i'm supposed to go for a meeting or something but i'm too lazy and it's late.. and i'm tired.. :(

so anyway, back to what i was sayin, wow.. it's school tomorrow.. and i'm amazed.. and i'm not sure what to do or bring or where to go or um... haha... everything's funny!!! haha... and like i need a new bag.. argh.. haha.. and clothes!!!!! hahaha... wow.. and the school will look weird.. thanks to stupid SARS. *grumble hiss*